


love yourself so no one has to

by orphan_account



Category: Archie Comics, Archie Comics (2015)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bisexual Male Character, First Dates, Fluff, Gay Jughead Jones, Gay Male Character, Jughead Jones is Not Asexual, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 17:18:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14061672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: jason blossom somehow finds himself on a date with jughead jones.





	love yourself so no one has to

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys, so. it's been awhile since i've posted anything, and in truth? i really, REALLY hate riverdale. 
> 
> it ruined something i loved dearly as a child- archie comics. 
> 
> i just don't want to write fanfiction for riverdale. archie comics is something i hold close to my heart, so most of any upcoming fanfic will be centered around it. 
> 
> i might post more of the riverdale jugson stuff later, but who knows. 
> 
> for now, i hope you enjoy archie comics jugson just as much.
> 
> comments are always appreciated!

“Jones, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you  _ not  _ stuffing your face with food. Are you on a meal plan, or something? Not getting fed at home?”

Jughead glanced up, burger halfway to his mouth, and met the eyes of Jason Blossom. He reluctantly set the burger down.

“Weren’t you in town yesterday? ‘Slumming it’ is kinda becoming a hobby for you, huh?” Jughead pointed out. “Where’s the evil twin?”

“Cheryl’s at the mall.”

“Shouldn’t you be… mallratting with her?”

“That’s not a word.” Jason slid into the booth across from Jughead. “And you didn’t answer my question.”

“Mallrat is a word.” Jughead bit into his burger, then continued to talk while chewing. “And, nah, I-”

“Were you raised in a  _ cave _ ?” Jason scoffed, his nose wrinkled. “Chew, swallow,  _ then  _ talk. I’m sure it’s not that difficult to grasp, even for  _ you _ .”

Jughead frowned, then made a big show of loudly chewing, then swallowing. He stuck out his tongue as if to prove he was allowed to speak now. 

“ _ Anyways _ \- I just like food, man. I don’t think I’ve ever seen  _ you _ eat- probably ‘cause us townies don’t put gold leaf on our caviar or whatever.” He shrugged.

“We don’t put gold leaf on  _ caviar _ ,” Jason laughed. As if that was a stupid idea. 

“‘Course not, what was I thinking?” Jughead deadpanned, starting in on his burger again. “Why are you here? Since you’re not mallratting or eating…”

“Just… observing the local wildlife,” Jason replied with an almost smug grin. 

“You’re a real charmer, huh? Guess that explains why you’re always hanging around here and not, I dunno, socializing, going on dates…” 

Jason frowned. “Well- I go on dates. I go on more dates than  _ you _ , I bet.”

“Well, I’m a picky guy.” Another shrug from Jughead.

“That’s not-” Jason sighed and ran a hand through his hair, which somehow managed to not be displaced even a hair. “You don’t seem very picky to me. I’m surprised you haven’t eaten that plate yet.”

“I’m on my sixth burger, so I guess we’ll see where the night takes me.” Jughead finished off his burger and licked some excess ketchup off his fingers. Jason didn’t respond for a moment, then leaned forward over the table.

“ _ Sixth _ ? You’re lying,” he accused. 

“Why would I lie?” Jughead laughed. “I’m a growing boy, Blossom, I gotta eat.”

“I suppose, but-  _ six _ ?” Jason shook his head. “Where does it all  _ go _ ?”

“Don’t you guys have biology classes up at Pembrooke? The stomach, dude.” Jughead rolled his eyes again, then waved to try and get Pop’s attention. “Pop, can I get another double burger?” 

“Coming right up!” Pop called from behind the counter. “How’re you intending to pay for all this, Jughead?”

“Put it on my tab, just like always,” Jughead said with a dismissive wave of his hand. 

“Tab, huh?” Jason interjected. “If you eat like a horse every time you frequent this…  _ establishment _ , you’ve probably racked up a pretty big bill.” 

“Guess so.” Jughead took a long sip of his milkshake. “And coming from  _ you _ , that  _ must _ mean something, since I bet you know a lot about big bills.”

“You’re not as dumb as you look.” 

“I get that a lot.”

“Yeah, I bet.” Jason smirked. “I’ll tell you what- I want to see how much the human garbage disposal can eat. However much else you can stomach, it’s on me. I’ll stick around and pay for it.” 

Jughead’s head tilted as he considered the prospect. Sure, Jason was obviously just using this an excuse to show off the size of his wallet- sorta a dick-measuring contest for rich kids- but spending the afternoon with a handsome guy  _ and  _ getting free burgers out of it? That sounded like Jughead’s kinda night. 

“I’ll take you up on that.” Jughead slurped up the rest of his milkshake, then pushed the glass towards Jason. “Mind getting a refill for me? Since you’re being  _ so  _ generous.” 

“What strikes your fancy? Chocolate? Banana?” Jason asked as he picked up the glass.

“Right now, I’m thinking strawberry. Or cherry,” Jughead replied with a smile, watching Jason tousle his hair again. “Are you always such a gentleman on the first date, or am I just special?” He batted his eyelashes. 

“No, I-” Jason halted midway between the booth and the counter, then turned on a dime. It was a miracle he didn’t drop the glass. “Did you say  _ date _ ?” 

“That I did, Romeo.”

“Oh, no. No, no, no.” Jason shook his head fervently, then slammed the glass back down on the table in an almost accusatory manner. “This isn’t a _date_ , Jones. I don’t _date_ townies. I’m a Blossom-”

“Thanks for reminding me, you didn’t announce it when you came in this time,” Jughead interjected, still smiling.

“I-” Jason was at a loss for words for a moment, then picked up where he left off. “I’m a  _ Blossom _ , I have  _ standards _ . I have  _ self-respect _ . I have-”

“A date with Jughead Jones at Pop’s?” Jughead teased. Was Jason actually flustered? Huh. His skin was even easier to get under than Reggie’s.

“Yes-  _ no _ !” 

“I mean, you’re hanging out with little ol’ me all afternoon,  _ and  _ paying for lunch,” Jughead pointed out. “Doesn’t that sound like a date?”

“You wouldn’t know a real date if it bit you, Jones,” Jason insisted. Was this guy crazy? Maybe all the Riverdale High kids were. That’d explain a lot. “A date has romance, atmosphere! Class!”

“Maybe you should get two straws for that milkshake. Romantic, right?” 

“If I do, will you shut your mouth?”

“My lips are zipped! Sealed! Glued shut!” Jughead pantomimed locking his mouth and throwing away the key. 

“Fantastic.” Jason rolled his eyes as he picked the glass up off the table again. “You’re lucky we Blossoms are a charitable bunch.” 

“‘Charitable’, right,” Jughead laughed under his breath, leaning back in the booth. “That’s one word for it.” 

“Hey! What’s-your-name! Uh… Pappy!” Jason called, trying to get the attention of Pop. Wasn’t exactly a hard name to forget, considering the diner was called  _ Pop’s _ . But Jason didn’t retain the names of workers very well. One of his many flaws. 

“It’s Pop, son,” Pop said dryly, leaning on the counter. 

“Right. Yeah… anyways.” Jason pulled out his wallet. “How much for a strawberry milkshake? Two straws.” 

Pop leaned to the side slightly, catching Jughead’s eye. Jughead shrugged and smiled. 

“... Right. That’ll be $4,” Pop replied in a wary tone, opening the register.

“Keep the change,” Jason said smugly as he slapped a twenty dollar bill on the counter. “Actually- make that a shake and two burgers. Will that cover it?” 

“Just about.”

“Fantastic.” Jason returned to the booth, sliding in with a sort of flair. Jughead was scribbling something on the inside of a napkin. “Do you usually mooch off your friends for lunch?” 

“Well, they usually don’t volunteer to pay for an all-you-can-eat buffet.” Jughead put the pen away and started haphazardly folding the napkin. “But, yeah, I can usually bum a few bucks from Arch.”

“Typical.” Jason clicked his tongue. “Hand-outs!” 

“It’s called  _ borrowing _ from a pal.” Jughead held up his clumsily-folded napkin- if one squinted, it almost looked like a boat. “I guess you don’t do that much.”

“I don’t  _ have  _ to.”

“I meant you don’t seem to have a lotta pals,” Jughead clarified, handing Jason the folded napkin.

“What’s- nevermind.” Jason shoved the napkin in his pocket absentmindedly. “I have  _ more  _ than enough friends, townie.” 

“Name four.”

“Cher-”

“ _ Besides  _ your twin.”

Jason pursed his lips. “Let’s see… Bunny, Cedric… and there’s, uh…”

“I’ll give you a minute.”

“Didn’t you promise to shut up?”

“Oops.”

“Anyways- I have tons of friends!” Jason insisted once again, crossing his arms. “I practically have to beat them off with a stick.”

“Gee, that’s no way to treat a friend!”

“Listen, wise guy-”

“I’m joking, I’m joking!” Jughead held his hands up defensively. “Sheesh. You rich guys sure are sensitive, huh?”

“I didn’t come here to be insulted.”

“No, you came here to insult  _ me _ ,” Jughead pointed out. “And to show off your spending power.” 

“... Maybe so. But still.” Jason’s brow furrowed, and he tapped his foot against the tile floor. “Aren’t those burgers done yet?”

“Patience, buddy. Art takes time,” Jughead chided. 

“Isn’t this supposed to be  _ fast food _ ?” the redhead scoffed. 

“Pop’s is no mere fast food!” Jughead replied, tapping his finger on the table pointedly. “It’s… it’s practically gourmet!”

“Ha! Now  _ that’s  _ a laugh,” Jason snickered. He grabbed the table menu and scanned the list. “I’ve had gourmet. You can’t make  _ cheese fries _ gourmet.” 

“Hey, what do  _ you  _ know?”

“More than you, I bet.”

“Jughead! Order up!” Pop called, interrupting Jughead and Jason’s banter. “I threw in some fries, too.” 

“You’re a prince among men, Pop!” Jughead declared as he retrieved his meal. He carried the milkshake in one hand, while carefully balancing the tray of two burgers and a plate of fries on his other arm. 

“... Need a little help, townie?” Jason asked with a bemused expression.

“Nah, I got it.” Jughead made it back to the booth in one piece and set the food down. “See? Archie Andrews, I ain’t.”

“Clearly.” Jason grinned and stuck one of the straws in the milkshake. Jughead unwrapped his own straw halfway, then blew the wrapper at Jason. It hit him in the cheek, and he frowned. “Hey! What was that for?”

“Sorry. Couldn’t resist.” Jason wasn’t such bad company. If Jughead could get used to Reggie, he could get used to a Blossom. The guy just needed to loosen up. A  _ lot _ .

“ _ Try  _ to resist.” Jason took a sip of the milkshake, then paused. “Hey… this isn’t half-bad.”

“Mmhmm.” Jughead didn’t give a proper answer, seeing as he was already hastily sucking milkshake through his own straw. 

“Although, if you keep up that pace, I don’t think I’ll get to taste it again.” Jason cocked an eyebrow, and slid the glass towards himself a little. “Save some for your gracious benefactor, Jones.”

“Whoops.” Jughead grinned sheepishly. “Got a little carried away.”

“I’ll say.” Jason let out a laugh, this one not so much mean-spirited as it was genuine. “Honestly, it’s a wonder you stay so, er… scrawny.” 

“What can I say? I’m blessed with… scrawniness.” Jughead tossed a few fries into his mouth. “Pass me the ketchup?” 

“Good metabolism, more likely.” Jason handed him the ketchup bottle, then plucked a fry from the basket. “You know, I suppose there  _ is  _ something to be said for greasy diner food.”

“What  _ can’t  _ be said about greasy diner food? Mm-mm!” Jughead licked his lips and squirted a mound of ketchup on one side of the fries.

“It’s… pretty messy, though,” Jason said, nose wrinkled. “Maybe you should grab a napkin… or twenty.” 

“Nah, I’ll clean up after.” Jughead bit into his burger, relishing the taste and not saying anything more.

“... Great.” Jason tried to separate some fries from the ketchup-y mess. He grabbed the salt shaker. “I’m assuming you don’t mind salt?”

“Go ahead!” Jughead said through a mouthful of burger. Jason’s lips pressed together tightly, but he didn’t make a comment this time. 

“These are pretty good, actually,” Jason said offhandedly, finishing off a couple fries  _ before  _ he spoke. “It’s no five-star restaurant, but… it’s not terrible.”

“Gee, got anymore praise to heap?”

“No, I think that’s about it.” He paused. “Maybe I should get a burger.”

“Yeah! C’mon, Blossom, live a little!” 

“Yeah!” Jason stood up, a little too dramatically and a little too loudly. A few of the other patrons turned to stare “I mean…” He cleared his throat.

“I think what my date here  _ meant  _ to say was- Pop, can we get another burger?” Jughead called to Pop, motioning for Jason to sit down again. This time, either Jason didn’t notice the word, or didn’t have an objection to being labeled Jughead’s date. 

“I assume your pal is paying?” Pop asked, glancing over his shoulder.

“He  _ did  _ promise,” Jughead agreed with a nod.

“Yeah. I’ll pay.” Jason had readjusted himself in his seat, and was now fixing his hair. 

_ Your hair’s fine, pretty boy _ , Jughead thought to himself, resisting an eye roll.  _ Sheesh. It’s  _ **_always_ ** _ fine. _

“You won’t regret it, Blossom,” Jughead said, grinning. “These are the best burgers in town. Heck, the best burgers in the  _ state _ !”

Jason couldn’t help but smile, too. For such an oddball, Jughead had a seriously infectious attitude. 

\---

Two milkshakes, three baskets of fries, and six more burgers (most of which was consumed by Jughead) later, Jughead was sprawled out on one side of the booth.

“Y’know, if this happens every time you come by to insult me, I think I can learn to live with that,” Jughead sighed happily, patting his stomach. His hand searched the table for a wayward fry, grabbed one, then returned to his mouth like some sort of giant B-movie horror monster. Yeah, he could  _ definitely  _ get used to being treated to dinner by Jason.

“I still can’t believe you  _ ate  _ all that,” Jason said with a shake of his head. “Can you even get up?”

“Hm. I’ll find out later. I’m good right here, for now.”

“You must’ve gained 30 pounds.” He flicked a french fry over the edge of the table, towards Jughead.   
“I caught that!” Jughead cheered, holding up the fry in question before tossing it into his mouth. 

Jason laughed, a  _ real  _ laugh. Yeah, Forsythe was goofy, but at least he wasn’t… boring and prissy, like all the students at Pembrooke. Like… well, like Jason  _ could _ be, sometimes.

“How’s the bill looking?” Jughead asked, sitting up in his booth. His hat was left behind for a moment, but Jughead quickly brushed some crumbs out of his hair and popped his cap back on. “There we go.” 

“You know, you might clean up nice, if you got rid of that dumb hat,” Jason observed. He leaned over the table and flicked a stray crumb off Jughead’s shoulder. “I mean, it’d take more than just losing  _ ton chapeau _ , but-”

“Nuh-uh, not a chance!” Jughead put his hands over his hat protectively. “This hat’s been with me through thick and thin! For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, ‘til-”

“Alright, alright, I get the picture! It was just a suggestion. Christ, Jones…” 

“It’s Jughead, actually.” He kept a straight face for a moment, then burst into laughter. “Get it? ‘Cause, you said… you said…”

“Mmhmm, I got the joke.”

“Man, c’mon, that was funny!” Jughead insisted through a snort of laughter. 

_ Cute _ , Jason thought for a moment.  _ He snorts when he laughs. _

“I guess.” Jason shrugged as he stood, not wanting to betray his thoughts. “And like I said, don’t worry about the bill. I’ve got it handled. Tip included!” 

“Ah, that famous Blossom generosity!” Jughead teased, standing up. “Y’know…”

“Know what?” Jason asked over his shoulder as he plucked a fifty dollar bill from his hefty wallet. 

“That  _ was  _ a nice date.” There was only a hint of joking in Jughead’s voice this time, and his smile seemed very much sincere. Jason swallowed.

“Look, I’m not- you’re not as strange a guy as you seem… well, no, you  _ are _ , but-” Jason stammered. Christ, was this weirdo actually making him tongue-tied?

“Hey, I’m just saying, if you wanna do it again sometime, you have my number.” Jughead put his hand on Jason’s shoulder for a brief moment. It registered with Jason that the guy had about two inches on him- how about that? 

“Uh… right, yeah.” Jason shoved his wallet back into his jacket pocket. “Shouldn’t you be getting home?”

“I was just headed out!” Jughead gave Jason a wave, then made his way to the door. “Seeya next time, pretty boy.”

“Right, yeah,” Jason echoed. He shook his head, as if to clear it. “Hey, wait, I don’t have his…”

Jason stuck his hand in his pocket, and pulled out the wadded napkin. Unwrinkling it revealed- yep, Jughead’s phone number.

“Oh.”


End file.
